I saw this article on the Women's Running, then when I opened it up I see it was written my Skirt Sports founder Nicole DeBoom. I am also part of the REALwomenmove group, and never saw this post by Meadow. When you talk with other runners, you realize they run for different reasons. Most of the are dealing with something. Many of those runners you see are dealing with depression, anxiety, addiction; and are seeking a way to overcome whatever they are dealing with. I started running because I was dealing with something too, something I couldn't and wouldn't talk about.  One morning I got a clear message that I need to run, and I wasn't a runner.  But the message was clear,  so I ran. I was given the tools to start running, so I ran. I am glad I listened.  Running helps clear your mind, changes your goals, helps you focus on what is important, and helps you through the things you are dealing with. It also gets you moving, motivates you, introduces you to new friends,  places and experiences. It also helps you get fit, and keeps your body healthy. Recoverying from and L4L5 spinal fusion hasn't been easy, running was taken away from me for a short time,  so I walked. I kept moving. Thank you running for keeping me mentally and physically healthy, because of running my recovery was easier then most. Next time you see a runner, just know they run for a reason,  and give them a smile. #runbecauseyoulovetoo #LiveToRunRuntoLive #wearyourdonkeyheart #skirtsports #skirtsportsambassador #REALwomenmove #L4L5fusion #L4L5fusionrecovery  #MovingForwardAfter50 #GoalsDontQuit

http://womensrunning.competitor.com/2018/06/inspiration/how-real-everyday-women-deal-with-depression_94034#AtCHSMB58q7rufRb.01

Why I Move

As a Skirt Sports Ambassador we now get monthly challenges for social media posts.  We can use these challenges to accumulate points that gives us credit to purchase Skirt Sports merchandise in the future.  I love doing these, just like I love showing off My Soxy Feet Socks #MySoxyFeet.   One of the new challenges is called: Why I Move.  We are supposed to show a picture of ourselves being active in a Skirts Sports product and state why we move, or why we started moving.

This really made me think:  Why do I move?  Is it because I enjoy it? Is it because it's healthy? Is it because I have met so many friends that also run?  Why do I move?

Originally I started moving because I was challenged by a personal trainer to start running, and to run a 5k by the end of a summer.  I think I talked about this in an earlier post, so not going to revisit that. Why did I start working with a trainer in the first place?  First, I have always been somewhat active.  As a young child I was always playing outside, and into my adult life I am the same.  I like to hike, ride my horse, rollerblade, walk, yardwork, etc.  My job as a Veterinary Technician always required me to be on my feet, and I have never been interested in a "desk job".  I think that would be tough for me.  When I started running, like I said, I was challenged by a personal trainer to run a 5k.  I started working with a trainer because my BMI was high.  When I started running, I found out that it helped me through some challenging emotional and mental issues that were going on in my life.  I am pasted those challenges, but I find that it lowers stress and anxiety that can occur.  Moving not only helps you physically, but helps you mentally as well.  And if you can't run, then walk.  Walk a lot.

With my recent back fusion surgery, I was told I needed to walk as much as possible.  It was so hard at first, but I was determined.  I started slowly, and increased as I got better.  I wasn't allowed to go outside much because I was a "fall hazard", so I had to do a lot of my walking inside.  I was told to do as much walking as I could, and I "would know if I did too much".  When I got to 2 miles, I called my doctor to make sure that I wasn't doing to much, and they said "great! keep going".  So, I did.  Why did I keep moving?  To physically heal, and to help me mentally as well.  I was stuck inside, and under strict restrictions:  no bending, no twisting, no lifting.  Basically, I wasn't allowed to do anything, but I could walk.  I walked to heal. I walked to keep me mentally busy.  I walked because I couldn't run.  I walked to stay as fit as a person could when they weren't allowed to do anything else.  I walked and I walked.  At my 3 month post-surgery appointment, they were pleased with my progress.  I was then allowed to start working with my Physical Therapist, Craig.  In a week I was moving so much better!  My PT was excited about my improvement, so I walked more.  I move because I always want to be moving forward.

I am now almost 4 months post-surgery, and I have an appointment with my surgeon's PA next week.  I am hoping I can still go to the PT, as I am making good progress, and I want to continue getting better.  I have started running now, about 10 days ago.  I run every other day.  My instructions were to walk 1 mile, then run 1 minute/walk 1 minute X 10 repetitions.  I increase the repetitions by 2 each time.  I am up to 18 repetitions.  Unfortunately I now have a sore IT band again, ugh.  We think it is from some of the Strength exercises I am doing, so we are pulling back on those for several days.  This is now the most frustrating thing, except that I am still limited with what I can do.  Each day is about healing, that's all I do.  Sometimes that can be tiring, well, basically healing is hard.  I am tired of healing, but I keep moving because that's how I can heal.

In summary, I think that I move for different reasons at different times.  I started moving for a different reason then I move now.  What started me moving is different then what keeps me moving.  I think that's good, things change, so reasons so change.

That's why I move.

Three Months Post-Surgery

So, here I am.  I have finally reached my 3 month post L4L5 Back Fusion surgery date!  What does this mean?  It means that I have 3 month post-0p radiographs taken last week, and I had my 3 month recheck at the surgeon office, and had my first PT session with Craig this morning!  The radiographs looks good, and the fusion is healing well without any issues.  I have followed my strict restrictions, and it’s now time to move forward with the next phase of healing.  It is time I start moving better, and getting my body back to being more flexible and stronger again.  And it’s time to think about starting to run again soon!  Craig is going to put me on the bike later this week so I can start rebuilding, and of course he gave me PT exercises to do at home twice a day.  He wants me to continue to walking daily and increase my distances, as I have been doing since I starting walking after surgery.  It has been a pretty exciting 5 days for me as I am realizing that it is time to move on to the second phase of my recovery. I am sure I will be sore for the next several days (weeks)

No, it hasn’t been easy.  This last month has been difficult.  As I get more mobile, I get more restless.  I also have had more anxiety, and my blood pressure has risen and then fallen again.  I don’t sleep well most nights, which is really frustrating.  This has mostly been due to some numbness and tingling in my right quad area that seems to occur when I go to bed at night and lay on my back.  I am supposed to be sleeping on my back as much as possible, but the leg tingling keeps me awake and wakes me up at night.  I finally decided that since this problem goes away when I sleep on my side, it’s time to go back to being a side sleeper.  It was sort of uncomfortable at first, but as time went on, it is so much better, and I seem to sleep better.  I started taking Thrive REST some nights, and also started using an Essential Oil Diffuser with Lavender in it each night.  I seem to be getting better sleep.  I am not sure what it working the best, but as long as I get better rest, I will just keep doing all of it.

I have also had to deal with some “mental” issues.  Let’s just say that I cry a lot.  My back can get really tight, it’s not painful, but it’s awful.  I try to maintain a good attitude, but the crying just comes when it wants to come.  Then the anxiety comes.  It’s hard to move around in public, as I am worried I will get bumped or hit.  It’s also stressful to realize that when I out that it is difficult to do things, which is frustrating.  If I drop something, I cannot just pick it up.  I cannot bend down to get things.  I am still under the BLT restrictions, and will be for some time.  I hate being like this, I feel hopeless at times and wonder why God hasn’t healed me.  I keep getting the same message “I am healing you.  Be patient”.  Last week was particularly bad, but I think I am getting through all that for right now, but I never know how I will be feeling an hour from now.  

I also have a very small world right now, being stuck at home most of the time.  I feel like I have lost friends.  I have a few friends that I have seen, and they have been supportive, but a lot of the time I feel lonely. Friends that have been there for me have been Linda, Ebeth, Nara, Stacy, and Ellen; and Melissa Corp from MySoxyFeet even called me.  These people are amazing.  I feel like I have lost one friend that I always thought would be there, but all good things don’t always last.  People move on. 

Tom has been more than amazing.  He has maintained the animals, the property, and he takes care of me, AND he is training for the Horsetooth Half.  I cannot give him enough praise and thanks for everything that he has done for me. Tom and Riley have run several 5k's and a 10k together, which has been really fun to see.  Tom is fast, and getting faster without me.  I am proud of him for his new achievements. He has taught me compassion and how to be giving and caring.  There is just no way to “pay him back” for all he has done for me.  I guess I would say that’s what you do when you love someone. 

The other support system I have has been Riley and Cabby.  I always have a dog to give me a kiss and cuddle up with.  My donkeys.  Donkey hugs are the best.  I believe Hermes is here to help me heal, he is doing a great job. Sometimes healing comes in packages that are wrapped different then most.

As I stated in my last post, I have been walking almost every day since my surgery, starting on day 23 post surgery.  My first walk was on the dreadmill for only .50 miles.  I have since progressed to mostly walking outside, and my longest walk so far has been 4.3 miles.  I am hoping to be up to 6 miles by April 15^th. I have my first ERS 10k on April 28th.  Believe me, it seems like a long way to walk.  I don’t walk fast, but I get it done.  Right now I have a goal of 3.2 miles each day, and then I have one long walk each week.  Craig is totally excited about this, and we plan on increasing the mileage and incorporate some running into it soon.  It’s been tough walking each day, but getting out and walking is great mental therapy, and I am grateful for every day I can get out and walk.  I am proud of myself for moving forward each day.  I have gained weight, and lost muscle tone, and I am totally unfit; don’t quit, get fit. 

Lastly, I feel like within this all of this difficultness of healing, and the crying, and the toughness; I have grown.  I started journaling with my new Dragon Tree journal, which has really helped me.  I also color, and put puzzles together.  These things, along with reading and watching movies have helped me.  I have tried new things, learned new things, and embraced this things. I have also found more faith in God during these times, and He has helped me through this. There is always something good that comes out of these kinds of struggles.

Don’t Quit. Life is an experience, and no one said it would be easy.

#enduranceraceseries #MySoxyFeet #Skirtsports

Now and before

Now

Hermes and I on St. Patricks Day

Me, Riley, Tom and Cabby on one of our walks

How I went from an It Band injury to an L4L5 Back Fusion

Yep, you read that correctly, I had back surgery 7.5 weeks ago; and it was all because I sent to see my PT for an IT Band issue. 

In my last couple of blogs you know that I was going to a PT for an IT Band issue, and things were going fine.  Craig was giving me more and more exercises to correct the strength in my legs to get them to track correctly.  My left leg went laterally at the knee, and my right leg went medially at the knee, both causing IT Band pain.  He was also working on changing the way my posture was when I was running.  The lower back takes a lot of pounding when you run, so the idea is to strengthen it by pushing it out, and getting rid of the “sway” in your lower back.  I was to use my core to do that, and round my shoulders while running to help that happen.  I was given several core exercises from the day I walked into his office, some of them incorporated a balloon.  This would also relieve the tension on my IT Bands at the pelvis – everything is connected.

Shortly after I started PT, I started getting a tingling feeling in my feet, and sometimes it went up the back of my calves.  I thought it was a temporary issue, and I didn’t think much about it; but it started to happen more and more, and started to go up my legs even more.  When I sat down, it went away.  I told Craig about it, and he wasn’t too concern because it was mild, and it was relieved when I sat down.  So, he added in more exercises to help this.  But, it still got worse.  Some days I was fine, other days I wasn’t.  So, in addition of the worry of my IT Bands giving me problems while I was running, I started to worry about the tingling, which moved on into numbness.  Then I started worrying it would happen when I was running, which it did, and then had to take time out on runs to sit down and let it go away.  It was very stressful.  It occurred more when I was walking them running, this was because you typically lean forward when you run, so it provided relieve in that position. I continued to go see Craig every week, my It Band issue was doing much better, but the tinging, numbness, and piriformis issue got worse.  And I got more and more scared to run, but I kept running; but I was running scared.  Craig suggested I take two weeks off of running, and during that time I started to feel different.  What I mean by different, is I felt worse.

Well, these two weeks were hard, it became harder and harder, more and more painful to run.  My low back and across the hips became very painful, and I became very frustrated and cried a lot.  I was struggling, a lot.  I continued to run races we had signed up for, but I was running scared.  The last ERS race in Louisville I ended up getting an early start and did slow running and walking to finish it.  I wanted to finish out the series.  Yes, it was painful, but I did it.  It continued to get worse.  When I went to see Craig again, he suggested it was time to go see a Sports Medicine doctor.  I made an appointment.

At this same time, I was told that my mother was getting worse, more work for the Staff at Collinwood, couldn’t transfer, was not toileting herself, and more and more combative.  I was told I had to get her into the Hospice program or move her to a full-care facility.  What a mess.  I was worried and stressed about that, I didn’t want to move her, and my legs were more and more painful.  The mornings were the worse, and I finally was just walking, and then stopping to sit, then walking.  Running was out of the question, I had also stopped working out at the gym by this time.  I just couldn’t do it anymore, even on my good days.

I went to see the Sports medicine doctor in an afternoon that I had been dealing with issues with Mom.  When I got there, my BP was so high, he wouldn’t see me and sent me to Urgent Care.  I normally have very normal blood pressure.  I went to urgent care, they started me on medication to lower my BP.  I kept telling everyone that it was stress (Mom and my numbness issue), and the pain.  At Urgent Care they took Lumbar Radiographs.  The radiographs showed a congenital narrowing of the spine on L4L5.  I was hoping they would give me something for my anxiety, but they did not, but the next day I went to see another doctor, because I was urged to by the Hospice people.  I was stressed and I had high anxiety.  In the meantime, because of what the radiographs showed, an MRI was scheduled.  My Mom passed away, and two days after that I had an MRI.  The same day as my MRI, the Sports Medicine doctor called me and wanted to see me right away.  Friday afternoon, when he was usually off.  Dr. Abrahamson went over my MRI.  I had a severe stenosis of the spine at L4L5 and my disc was damaged; most of this was congenital.   There was too much movement front to back in that joint as well, so I was referred to a neurosurgeon, who I saw the next week.

The neurosurgeon went over my MRI with me and gave me three options 1) injections, 2) cut ligaments in my back, and 3) L4L5 back surgery.  He also wanted more radiographs.  I had the radiographs that day, and they showed that my back was not stable, with 7mm movement front to back.  Surgery was the only option.  Surgery was then scheduled for December 30^th at 8am.

On surgery day I had to be at the hospital at 6:30am (on a Saturday) for pre-op, and I was taken into surgery about 8:15am.  I was really nervous, but I knew I wanted to be better.  When I woke up, I knew I was “better”, but I was in pain from surgery.  I spent 2 nights in the hospital getting used to everything I needed to do, had two PT sessions, and practiced walking without a walker.  My restrictions are No Lifting, No bending, and No twisting.  Basically, I am not allowed to do anything.  I can’t do any housework, barnwork, or anything.  I also cannot take a shower alone, flush the toilet, dress, get in and out of bed – or anything without help.  It was then I knew that is was going to be a really long recovery, both mentally and physically.

Now that it is 7.5 weeks since I had had surgery, I can tell you it hasn’t been easy.  I didn’t need much pain medications after about 10 days, and at that point only took them at night (Tramadol and Flexril).  Everything was hard to do, it still is, only it’s more frustrating than ever.  Tying shoes, putting on pants, getting in and out of bed, etc. The worst has been sleeping.  I have some nerve issues at night in my right quad, which feel like “pins and needles”, goes numb, and I getting stabbing pains that keep me awake or wake me up at night.  Tonight I am trying a bed wedge to keep my upper body elevated.  Just trying things that other have had success with after this surgery.

I started walking after the 3^rd week post surgery, and today was my 32^nd walk on the Dreadmill since surgery.  I am up to 3 miles at this point.  I don’t like the dreadmill, but I am so thankful I have it.  I need an outlet, and I can’t go outside when the weather is bed or there is ice or snow.  I am a fall hazard.  I cannot fall.  I have been on three walks on the cement bike paths in town while Tom goes running.  Last week had some really nice weather, and it was great to get outside.  The surgeon and the PA said I could walk as much as I want, and “I would know when I have done too much”.  This has happened a few times, mostly the days that I had company.  There is one or two days a week that I am so down and hate how I am and how I feel.  Today is one of those days, I am having extra pain, and the last two days I just feel like crying. 

The great news is that I have none of my previous symptoms.  I can walk without pain, the buzzing numbness and pain is gone.  I am so grateful and thankful.  It just been frustrating, and I hate feeling this way.  I just have to keep moving forward.  I am stuck at home, but get out for movies, CSU Women’s Basketball games, and shopping once a week.  Today was my first haircut since before surgery.  I have to wait until March 26^th for my 3 month Post-Op check up with radiographs.  At that time I will find out if there is enough healing for me to start running again.  It is frustrating not knowing how the healing is going, especially on the bad days, like today.  It’s frustrating not getting good sleep, but it is common with the surgery. It’s frustrating gaining weight and feeling fat. I read, do puzzles, color, and journal.  I have a new journal: Dragon Tree Dreambook and planner.  Ebeth suggested I get it.  It has been really good for me. I am also doing my own little Bible Study and looking up all the times “donkey” is mentioned in the Bible.  So, I walk every day, extending my distance each day.  I journal, color, read and build puzzles – and watch the Olympics.  I have to learn how to be STILL, be strong, don’t quit.  It’s going to be a long process.

Morning of surgery, driving to MCR

The afternoon after surgery

My MRI

My incision with staples 

Post-surgery radiographs

Post-surgery radiographs

Incision after staples removed - 2 weeks after SX

My Skirt Sports #neverwear

As an Ambassador Skirt Sports, a women's athletic wear company based out of Boulder Colorado; they have asked us to post about one of their products I thought I would never wear. One of my #neverwear Skirt Sports product  was the Lioness Skirt.  I am 56 years old, I didn't think I would like the ruffles and the shirt length. However, after wearing it the first time, I discovered how cute it was, not really that short, and I loved the ruffles. Watch my #neverwear video and see what you think! You can get this Lioness Skirt Sport Skirt for 15% off with my personal Ambassador Discount Code:  439john
www.skirtsports.com

 #SkirtAmbassador #skirtsportambassador #skirtsports #RealWomenMove #lioness

Second year as a skirt sports Ambassador!

I am so excited and honored to be a part of the SKIRT SPORTS AMBASSADOR TEAM for a second year as a PRO AMBASSADOR. This company and what it stands for means so much to me. The first time I set foot in the store Noelle Wilson recognized me as one of the new Ambassadors; and  she brought Nicole DeBoom, creator of the company out to meet me as well. I instantly knew that I belonged here. I ran the Skirt Sports 13er last year; I was brought to tears when most every runner stayed until the last girl came across the finish line. No other group does this. And the Skirt Sports products? Love them! You can try them for 15% off with my personal discount code: 439john
www.skirtsports.com
#skirtsports #skirtsportambassador #SkirtAmbassador #REALwomenmove

Being Injured Can Be a Pain #2

Being injured can be a pain, both physically and mentally.  I am having a hard time with it.  Running is one of the only things that keeps me dealing with other things in my life, and when I cannot run, those other things become tougher.  I suppose I shouldn't be so open on this blog, but no one really reads it anyway.  I have been really down, and it has been difficult for me.  I feel like when I have tried to talk to people about it, they don't understand.  Sometimes I don't understand.

I had my second PT appointment on Monday (two days ago).  Craig said I was looking better, and then he went over all of the exercises that he gave me last Thursday.  He wanted to make sure I was doing them correctly, which was good, as I needed to change some small things.  He also added another exercise for me to do.  I assumed he would build on what he started.  Then we want to watch me run outside, without my brace (which I didn't have on because it was too sweaty from the gym).  He said that I was a good runner (ha), and he told me he wanted to change some things.  He wants me to tuck my pelvis under when I run (like a pelvic tilt), and also shorten my stride (like Wendy said today "ha, now you will go no where").  So, I practiced doing that, and then we talked about the upcoming race (Chase the Moon) this weekend.  We will decided Thursday if I should run it.  I like Craig, and I like where he is going with the PT.  I just know it is going to take a long time to correct this, I am sure I have been this way for a long time.  He thought it contributed to my MCL injury as well.  So, I will have an update tomorrow.

4-Legged Fourth of July Run

Yesterday Tom, Riley, Cabby and I ran the 4 Legged Fourth of July Run in Windsor.  It was Cabby's first race and one of her only adventures.  We haven't taken her for runs because of her age, and waiting until she is a year old before we start her running with us.  But, this was only a 5k, so we figured she and Tom could walk most of it.

The dogs were pretty excited when we arrived, so it was kind of stressful, but this was really good for Cabby.  When the race started, Riley wanted to take off, so we ran; and so did Cabby and Tom.  Cabby wanted to run and run, and when Tom tried to get her to walk, she wanted to run.  So, Tom would pick her up and run with carrying her for a bit.  She liked being carried, but didn't like walking. The run was just around the Windsor Lake, and we THOUGHT it was a 5k, but it wasn't, it was only 2.3 miles.  Tom and I were disappointed with the mileage for us, but it was perfect for Cabby, plus it got really hot quickly.

Riley and I won second in my age group; so I got a medal, and Riley got to pick a toy off the table.  Of course he chose a ball.  It was fun, and the dogs had a good time.  Not sure if we will do this run again, but it was a fun thing to do with the dogs on the Fourth of July.

The Dizzy Goat 12 Hour Trail Run

It's been 10 days since I ran the Dizzy Goat 12 Hour Trail Run in Omaha, Nebraska.  Before this, I really couldn't write before this, as I have been feeling really down about what happened at this event. Mostly, my performance.  I guess my goals were too high for what my body could do, or maybe not.  I felt totally ready, totally trained, and I felt good.  I was hoping to run more then 26.2 miles, or just surpass my longest run, which has been 21.5 miles to this point, but it was not meant to be.  In the end, we decided that since I hadn't been able to run trails as much as I would have liked to prepare, and the trail was tough because of the weather they had had there; that it was just too hard on my MCL injury and body.  But, in the long run (ha ha), I think maybe I have learned something.  So, let me tell you about it. . . .

We left on our trip Friday morning at 7am, picking up my friend Linda.  She was walking the six hour run, and we were running the 12 hour run.  The trip out there was fun.  We made several stops along the way, and even stopped at the Archway in Nebraska for lunch, and to look inside.  Maybe someday we will stop for a longer time there.  It looked cool, but we had to check in and get our runners packets by 6pm in Omaha. When we got to Omaha, we went straight to Canfields to pick up our packet's, and Stacy and Beth were there at the same time!  How amazing was that?  I bought to Tailwind with a 20% off coupon they gave us, and we shopped around the store.

We then checked into mine and Tom's hotel.  Our hotel was in Downtown Omaha since there was a College Baseball World Series there, and there were no rooms in the area at all.  We at Dinner in our room, then headed out to Schramm State Park to set up the Canopy for the next morning.  After that we got Linda settled into her hotel (Motel 8 that we stayed at last year), and then we headed back to our hotel to get some sleep.  When we got back to our hotel there were several cops there escorting some women out that was high or something.  Great.  The hotel (Hotel 402) is old, remodeled, and in a kind of scary area.  I will have to say that I slept great there for some reason.

The next morning started our great.  I was ready to go, and so excited.  We picked Linda up at her hotel (since she didn't start until 1pm), that way she could have the truck while we were running.  It was so great to see everyone!!!  Ginger was there, and Scott (Race Director - we saw him the night before).  The weather was amazing!!!  It was so cool, and it didn't get over 74 degrees, and there was hardly a drop of humidity. Perfect weather, all day.  7am finally arrived, and off we went.  It was wonderfully cool, and so great to be back on this trail.  The first 4 loops went great.  I felt good, didn't feel tired or hot.  Then on the 4th loop at the Motivation Station I got some pain in my left IT area on my knee.  WHAT?!  I don't get left IT pain.  So, I tried my best to ignore it, but it got worse.  I was so upset, this was so unexpected.  And it got worse, and worse.  When we got back to the main area, I told Tom he needed to go on his own, and I would just start walking loops and run when I could.  I know he felt bad, but I wanted him to succeed, and there was no need for him not to take a shot at his personal goals.  This was hard for both of us.  I finally convinced him to leave me, and then I started walking the 6th loop.  I actually ran some of the first part of the loop, and I felt hopeful that it would just go away.  Ha.  Not to be.  I was putting ice on it at the Motivation Station, and then about half way back from there I saw Tom, and sadly told him I thought I would have to time out.  I wanted to cry, but I didn't want to ruin his run.  It is also hard to cry at the Dizzy Goat because there is always someone coming toward you in the opposite direction.

At the end of the clockwise loop and beginning of the counter clockwise loop there is the What The Hill hill, it was going down that hill that I realized that I had to time out, the pain when down the front of my shin, and I knew it was my last loop.  I couldn't injury myself more.  I timed out, finishing 6 loops, officially 19.5 miles.  They gave me my medal.  I told Scott and the new RD.  They were both so sorry, and the new RD came over to the canopy to talk with me and offer me some FireBall.  This is why we go back, "they" are the best.  They really are.

I got to see Linda and Stacy start their 6 hour run.  I spent the afternoon sipping shots of FireBall and watching Tom, Linda, and Stacy run/walk their loops and try to give them aide when they needed it.  I tried to nap and cry, but wasn't successful with that either.  I went over and got a massage from the group that was there at Cunningham Lake last year.  She is amazing.  I think that helped a lot.  I also go to me Deb Bahr for the first time.  Even though I was extremely sad and disappointed I got to enjoy the success of others and hang out with friends.  Tom ran 44.25 miles!  Linda walked 16.25 miles, and Stacy did 10.5 miles.  Beth was an awesome volunteer.

The Dizzy Goat was over, and I felt that I had failed.  Or at least that is how I felt.  It was so hard not to start crying, and I really, really tried hard not to show how sad and disappointed I was.  We went out to dinner at a place at the Outlet Mall and then dropped Linda off at her hotel and we went back Downtown to ours.  We took showers and went to bed.  I tired not to cry.  I felt bad for Tom, he had done awesome, and I was happy for him, but I was so down.

The trip home the next day went great.  I tried to drive for a while, but only lasted about an hour.  I was just tired and down.  We got home around 4pm, and really enjoyed the time with Linda.  She is such a great friend.  I didn't know what a great friend I was getting the first time she asked me if I wanted to go to a movie with her.  I will always be thankful for her.  

The next week was tough.  I didn't want to go to the gym, I had failed.  I didn't want to talk about the race, I had failed.  I didn't want to eat, I just wanted to sleep, I had failed.  I cried A LOT.  It was a bad week.  My trainer, Joey wanted me to go to his Physical Therapist, so I made an appointment.  I was so afraid I would cry in his office, but I didn't. Craig was very good, asked me questions, watched me walk and gave me some exercises to do twice a day.  He said my right hip is back farther them my left.  My right femur goes medial, and my tibia goes lateral; and my left leg was the opposite.  It wasn't bad, but he believes that with correction it will solve the IT Band issues, piriformis issues, and is the last step in healing my MCL injury. He also said No Running - no runner wants to hear this until the weekend and I could go on a "little run".  I asked him specifically what that meant:  3 miles, flat.  I was so sad still. However, he said my MCL knee was great and amazed at how healed and strong it was.  So, I did these exercises twice a day until Monday (yesterday).  I saw Craig yesterday, and he said I looked and walked better already.  He also watched me run, and wants me to basically tuck my pelvis under when I run, like a pelvic tilt.  He said I was so straight that it was causing tension on my hips, piriformis, and IT bands.  He said I was a good runner, and that I could run on Tuesday and Thursday - longer miles, and NO BRACE on flat surfaces!  Running without the brace was amazing.  Just amazing, even for the run through the parking lot at the PT office.

Here I am, healing again.  Still healing.  Both physically and mentally.  After running this past weekend, I started to feel better.  The run on Saturday was great (I did the Virtual Home of the Free Because of the Brave 5k for #MySoxyFeet).  The 5k run on Sunday was really hard, so much fatigue and it was hot - for both Tom and I.  So, the healing continues.

What have I learned?  I need to run.  My body wasn't ready for the Dizzy Goat, even though I was.  That I needed to celebrate others accomplishments, because it's not just about me.  I still need to learn patience.  Do I still love the Dizzy Goat?  Yes.  My review of the Dizzy Goat, is that it is an amazing race with good sportsmanship, comradery, friendship, hardship, suffering, and beautiful trails.  They had a new course this year, and it was great.  Will I go back? Yes, that is the plan.

Today we did another short race in Windsor (without my brace), but I think I will stop here and share more pictures.  Tomorrow is another day to blog.

#mysoxyfeet                  Stacy and Linda

                 The suspension bridge                              What The Hill

Me, Tom and Ginger

#mysoxyfeet